My question is simple. Why do people cheat?
—Heartbroken in Ohio
Dear Heartbroken in Ohio,
That question may be not so simple. Because I know nothing about your personal situation, or what inspired you to ask this question, I am going to answer it in general terms. More than 90% of Americans self-report that infidelity is unacceptable, but 35% of couples participating in self report survey have engaged in some sort of infidelity (emotional or physical). *according to psychology today.*
So let’s talk reasons. Psychological/Relational research and self-report surveys suggest there are three different types of reasons people cheat:
1. Individual Reasons (Individual characteristics that make one more likely to cheat)
Gender—Men are more likely to commit infidelity largely because of the hormone testosterone which is related to desire to procreate.
Personality — Those who rate lower on conscientious and agreeableness scales are more likely to cheat.
Religious or Political Orientation — Very conservative values are associated with less cheating behaviors.
2. Relationship Reasons – Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity. Also, the more dissimilar partners are — in terms of personality, education level, and other factors — the more likely they are to experience infidelity.
3. Situational Reasons – A person might not have a personality prone to cheating, and might be in a perfectly happy relationship, but something about their environment puts them at risk for infidelity. Some situations are more tempting than others. Spending time in settings with many attractive people can make cheating more likely. The nature of a person’s employment is also related to infidelity—individuals whose work involves touching other people, having personal discussions, or a great deal of one-on-one time are more likely to have an affair. And finally, those living in urban as opposed to rural areas are also more closely linked to reports of infidelity.
I would like to state, providing reasons for behavior is not an excuse or a justification for hurtful behaviors. In fact, there is no good justification for cheating. Our human nature craves trust, respect, and love. We all deserve it and our behaviors and treatment of others should reflect that value.
You may submit your questions to AskMeMissC@gmail.com, on Ask Me Miss C Facebook Page, or to the West Bend News to my attention.
