Dear Miss C,
My sister has recently gotten engaged to a real jerk. He doesn’t treat her with respect and seems to manipulate her to do whatever he wants pretty much all the time. I love my sister but how can I be a part of a celebration that I do not really support?
—Sisterly Woes
Dear Sisterly Woes,
As with all family situations, yours is not so simple. But you said something very important. You love your sister. And it is difficult to give advice without knowing the whole history, but it may be time for a conversation coming from that loving place. On one side your sister needs to know how you feel, but she does not need to feel like she has to defend her adult choices. Nothing good will come from that. But perhaps you might say, “Sister, I love you and I want the very best for you. You deserve to love and be loved, respect and be respected, and live the fairy tale happy life. If you believe that (fiancé) is that person, I support you 100%. I will never be okay with anything less than that. I hope you will always have the same love, respect, and hopeful standards for yourself. I will celebrate with you for all your dreams and I will have your back when celebration is not warranted…always.”
So really, if you love your sister you will be there with and for her. You must respect that she is an adult and makes her own choices. If at any time you feel there are bigger concerns, such as safety concerns, always contact a professional.
—Miss C
***I am ready to answer YOUR questions. You can email me at askmemissc@gmail.com, LIKE my Facebook page (ASK ME MISS C), or send a correspondence to the West Bend News to my attention!***
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