Dear Miss C,
How do you tell a family member that they have body odor without them getting upset or defensive?
—Politely Suffering in Silence
Dear Politely Suffering in Silence,
There are two main ways you can address this issue, since I do not know the individuals involved, I do not know if there may be a medical reason for the odors. If it is medical, the best thing you can do is be honest and understanding about the issue. Approach your loved one with an approach such as, “I would want you to tell me…” If it is a cleanliness issue, you might even use the same approach. It is very likely they are unaware of the odors. Popular research surveys report that people WANT to be told about offensive odors. No matter their defense, they would rather be told by a friend or family member, than from a co-worker or stranger! You might say, “Jane, I really don’t want to embarrass you or make you upset, but I feel like I should say something because I hope you would say something to me… (insert concern here)” If she seems surprised or upset be ready and armed with an embarrassing story of your own so that you can try to even the field. You are right, people do get defensive when they are embarrassed. So be careful with your words.
Alternatively, if you believe that there is no way to have the conversation with your family member, you can always anonymously leave a care package with your favorite scents, etc.
They might appreciate the gesture and use the scents.
This said, an honest and caring conversation is the best option whenever possible.
Blessings,
—Miss C
Miss C is now accepting your questions! You may submit them to AskMeMissC@gmail.com, to the West Bend News to my attention, or via my Facebook page Ask Me Miss C!
