Dear Miss C,
My wife of 5 years is jealous of my “work wife.” I have tried to tell her we are just friends but every time we go out after work to get a drink (that sounds worse than it is, we just vent about work), she texts me constantly. Then is mad at me when I get home, even if it’s not too late. I don’t get it.
—Work Husband
Dear Work Husband,
I am not quite sure what the question is here, but I am going to address this as though you want her jealous explained to you.
The ‘work spouse’ begins as plutonic relationship between two people who work closely together. It is a common term on the rise as the number of hours we work continues to increase. The relationship in a way mirrors marriage. It starts out due to proximity but develops because of common challenges in the workplace. You rely on each other to vent stress or emotional turmoil and to share in the joys of success. Although these relationships are not intimate, there IS an intimacy and a very thin line that when crossed can lead to infidelity. How do affairs usually start? They start through friendships. And the amount of time, shared intimacy, and an outsider feeling could lead your wife to feelings of jealousy.
So, you can decide if the work relationship is worth it. If it is, consider some rules so you can avoid crossing that thin line from friendship to affair:
• A healthy work spouse situation is between people who would never let their friendship venture in to an inappropriate space, and understand that fine line.
• Be upfront and honest about the closeness and bond of your real-life relationship.
• Don’t be alone with a person of the opposite sex separate from your job. Romantic relationships come out of recreational activities and intimate conversations.
• Don’t drink with your work spouse. When you drink, boundaries get blurred.
• Introduce your real spouse to your office spouse, so it isn’t exclusive.
• Avoid constantly talking about your office spouse at home. Don’t overdo it.
• Keep the lines of communication open between other co-workers and your real-life spouse so that your work spouse relationship is not interpreted as a clique, or exclusive.
Blessings,
—Miss C
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