Dear Miss C,
I just have one question. Why can’t I ever be happy with my life?
—NVRHPYGRL
Dear NVRHAPYGRL,
I would like to preface this response with a broad qualifier, I do not know you, your situations, your loves, your stressors, or joys. So, I will respond with generality, and hope that a piece of this response touches you. There are several barriers to finding true happiness in our lives.
Happiness Barrier No. 1: Complexity
Solution: Simplify
We often let our lives get overly complex. We spend more, we constantly try to do more, which means we are always getting pulled in several different directions at once! That of course does not include our constant need to be connected (phones, social media… etc). It’s a lot of pressure! So guide yourself by the advice of the Dalai Lama, if you simplify your life, you create more space in your day… making it possible to reflect on your life.
Happiness Barrier No. 2: Negativity/Despair
Solution: Let go/Stay Hopeful
“Your prison is nothing in comparison with the inner prison of ordinary people: the prison of attachment, the prison of anger, the prison of depression, the prison of pride.” wrote Lama Zopa Rinpoche to a California prisoner, a student of the Liberation Prison Project, which offers Buddhist teachings to people in prison.
Some might view this statement as a bit of an exaggeration. But negative, compulsive thoughts do have a quality of stickiness to them. How you see things and the way you experience the world are strongly linked, making it critical to adopt a positive outlook
Happiness Barrier No. 6: Too much Isolation/Independence
Solution: Connect with others
A recent 20-year study of more than 4,000 people showed that happiness is influenced not just by your immediate friends and family. The happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend—someone you’ve never even met—can also influence your happiness. It turns out that happiness can spread through social networks, like a virus.
Unfortunately, many people spend so much time by themselves, they don’t benefit from this positive “contagion.”
The more self-absorbed you are, the more your world closes in, and the less realistic you become, all of which produces a vicious circle. You become blind to everyone else, and so the world shrinks. When the world shrinks how often do you look outside of yourself?
Blessings,
—Miss C
*Send your questions to AskMeMissC@gmail.com, by private message to my facebook page, or via letter to my attention to the West Bend News*
