The Nurturing Well by: Jill Starbuck
Finding the right partner is a process. It takes time to learn whether you are compatible with or tolerant of one another. You could spend months or even years with a person, only to learn that you aren’t right for each other. Or perhaps you felt that you were right for each other in the beginning, only to discover that one of you has fallen out of love. Unfortunately, such incidents happen all of the time. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, as many as 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.
However, relationships of all types end frequently, not just marriages. With an ending relationship comes a huge sense of rejection. This rejection hurts. Terribly. For many people in these situations, they begin to question their sense of self. They question what they could have done differently. They wonder what they could do to reverse the outcome of a break-up. They lose sleep, become depressed, feel immobilized, and even feel like a totally different person. Many feel like they’ve lost their sense of selves through the rejection. They don’t know how to cope with it. In a sense, it feels the equivalent to death. In a way, it is a sort of death. The death of a relationship.
Just as it takes time to build a relationship, it takes time to overcome one that doesn’t last. In all break-ups, hurt feelings exist. Many times, friends and family members begin to go in different directions. Therefore, a break-up is not always about just two people. What was once familiar and comfortable is no longer, leaving a sense of desolation and desperation.
Although rejection can be brutally painful, it doesn’t have to define people. Despite the helpless and emotional feelings associated with rejection, there will always be people to help you through it. It can be the perfect time to take inventory of your personal goals and list your best qualities. The key is to not let rejection rob you of personal growth. You are still the person you were when you entered the relationship.
While you may have a different outlook on life and your goals may have changed, the end of a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of many great things. Staying true to yourself and being open to love again can lead to big rewards.
Jill Starbuck has 20 years of experience as a business writer, editor, and market research analyst. She is a certified health coach through the Integrative Institute of Nutrition and a certified running coach through the Road Runners Club of America. She is also the co-owner of a running business. She can be reached at jillstarbuck@hotmail.com.
