Dear Miss C,
My big problem is that I always think the worst about everything. I am definitely a negative thinker. The glass is never half full in my perspective. So, how can I change this destructive pattern because it hurts my relationships? Who wants to be around the person who brings everyone down all the time?
—Debbie Downer
Dear Debbie Downer,
Let’s learn now to arm your brain against negative thinking. If your brain loves to predict and fixate on the worst happening, even to the extent of dismissing more realistic outcomes, you need to remind yourself that it’s all in your mind. Say to yourself, “Thank you for trying to protect me against the worst, but you can rest now, I got this!” Make it your own personal mantra! Remind yourself, whatever happens, you can cope! Using this positive strength statement can better help you feel empowered, instead of defeated.
If you are just sure things will never go right, fight it right, beat it by continuing to move forward anyway. Put one foot in front of the next, and choose one positive thing no matter how small, and focus. A lot of our negative thoughts come from mental time travel (remember only the worst from the past or predict the worst in the future). The key to coping is to become more resilient. You build your resilience with a positive emotional experiences in your tool box. Build your resilience through positive friendships, relationships, faith, new adventures, volunteerism, and trying new things (just to name a few).
If your negative thoughts focus on magnifying the negative, so much so that you no longer see any of the positive you need to force yourself to think of three positive things instead. (I didn’t get the job I applied to, but 1) there are more jobs out there; 2) I am valuable and have a lot to offer; 3) my friends are proud of me no matter). If the negative magnification continues, you may need to actually, out loud, say ‘STOP!’ If you have recurring issues with this, write down your negative things and then crumple it up and throw it away!
The bottom line is, you DO have the power to overcome negative thinking. As a matter of fact, you are the ONLY person with this power. Take the steps necessary and enjoy your life! It’s in your hands (or mind as it may be)
Blessings,
—Miss C
*Send your questions to AskMeMissC@gmail.com , message via Facebook, or letter to my attention to the West Bend News**
