Dear Miss C,
I have a 4 year old who is terrified about starting school. Every day she wakes up and is nervous about my having to send her to school in a couple of weeks. What can I do to help her?
—Nervous Nellie
Dear Nervous Nellie,
It is very common to have anxiety before starting new things. One of the best things you can do is take away as many of the “unknowns” as possible. All of our fears feed on what we do not know. So, over the next few weeks, show her what school will be like! Spend time talking to your child, sharing school stories, take her to the playground (with a friend who might also be starting or already attending her school). A lot of schools post resources and previews online, so you can tell her all about the things she will learn and the activities they will do throughout the day. Tell her fun stories about when you went to school, the things you learned and loved. It could help her get excited about the new school year!
Lots of kids experience anxiety about starting school because they don’t know how they will handle new social situations. They might worry about eating lunch alone, or who will they play with at recess, will there be bullies? As a parent, you can help your child feel more comfortable by attending play groups, visit the parks, movies with friends (old and new). This can help her practice her social skills and make her feel more comfortable. You might also try doing some role plays to help. If you find that she is afraid of recess, start there. If she is afraid of riding the bus, role play this with her! Visit the location where the busses are located, or set up an area in the house to do a “pretend” ride to school.
You can even take turns being the bus driver, your child, or her classmates.
It is also not uncommon to do all the right things and still have a child who is scared to start school. Some kids even report having stomach and headaches (physical response to fears). Some will act out with thumb sucking, bed wetting, or acting aggressively. So, it is important to talk to your child to help them feel better:
1. Tell them everyone will be new and will be feeling the same as she is. To normalize your child’s feelings, remind them that everyone including other students and even teachers feel nervous on the first day. She should know, she is not alone. This reassurance can help!
2. Make the first week of school an event. Research shows that the first week of school is really hard for kids, so it would be a good idea to set aside special time to talk about the week and celebrate as a family each victory!
Blessings,
—Miss C
Send your questions to Ask Me Miss C today! AskMeMissC@gmail.com, via Facebook Page, or US Mail to my attention at the West Bend News.
