Dear Miss C,
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Every time I walk into the room he closes and hides his cell phone, but the other day I saw HER name and picture on it before the screen cleared. I asked him who it was, and he said it was just a friend from work. But it seems like he spends more time on his phone texting her, than having an actual conversation with me, who is in the same room. I don’t want it to be true, and when I asked him straight out, he denied it. But at the same time, it feels like he is more connected to her, than to me. I don’t know what to do, I am anxious and unhappy.
Sincerely,
– SuZQ
Dear SuZQ,
It sounds like your relationship uncertainty is hurting you. And I believe you need to know if you are in an honest relationship. You have already asked him, which you stated he denied, so you need to look for other signs. These signs are a change from your normal relationship patterns. 1) Pay attention to what he says. Does he have a lot of excuses when he used to spend all his free time with you? Has he stopped complimenting you? Or compliments you more often? Does he stop returning your texts, even mid conversation? 2) Pay attention to what he does. Is your intimate life different? Is he much nicer or more helpful (or less) than normal? Has his grooming changed? What about his mood?
While none of these signs say, “Hey, I am cheating on you!” They do note important relationship red flags because changes always occur for a reason. Whether he is cheating on you or not, it is important to pay attention to these flags. Discuss these changes calmly, openly, and sincerely with your partner. Get on the same page in your relationship. If your relationship is important to both of you, these efforts will make your relationship stronger. If not, it may be time to walk away. If he is not committed in the same way you are, it is merely a recipe for hurt.
Many Blessings,
—Miss C
*Send your questions to my email, Facebook page, or to the West Bend to my attention: AskMeMissC@gmail.com*
