The Lobo Tank Busters; and Funny One Liners
Cabin 21 at Valley Forge
By: Stan Jordan
The boys brought in a good supply of fire wood. It would take a good fire at both ends to warm the room, as it has been vacant for many months.
Sgt. Baker said there are 16 of us, that means eight sleeping on each side. Now, the boys closest to the fire will get two blankets each, the boys in the center will get the bear rugs to lay on plus two blankets each. The boys closest to the fire are responsible for keeping wood in the fire.
Supper consisted of sassafras tea and corn bread with a little honey on it, but nobody complained. Sgt. Baker let the boys sleep until daylight and then got them up, and told them, “Roll up your bed clothes and place them neatly by the wall so the sweepers can sweep a little later. That will be the style every morning. Besides that, you will not walk in with mud or snow on your boots. You will enter and close the doors and leave your boots just inside the door on the rag rugs there.” There was a little grumbling, but not much, as they knew that was the army way and the Sgt way.
Sgt. Baker went down to the first house in the settlement because they have a mule and a wagon. He said, “We will work for you, if we can use your mule and wagon to haul in our firewood.” They agreed one of the boys would do the milking and take care of their animals. This nice old lady was glad to get some help. One of the boys went to the mill and said he would work for some flour. The miller was glad to get the help and the boys needed the flour for bread. One of the boys went to the sawmill and told the manager he would work for some scrap lumber to make some shelves around the cabin. The man was glad to get some help and he agreed to the deal.
Mrs. Woodruff, the lady with the mule and wagon, sent us some flour, sugar, salt, soap, candles, sassafras roots and some cloth to use to wash the dishes. She told us her husband hurt his back last fall and isn’t much help, almost an invalid. Two of the boys with good boots went hunting for wild game. Four of the boys went on the detail to cut the wood and a couple more would use the mule and wagon to deliver the wood. By the end of the second day, the Sgt had a pretty good system.
See ya!
The Lobo Tank Busters
By: Stan Jordan
This morning we had extra fuel tanks and headed east into Germany; no definite target, just worked over the traffic over the Rhine River. Well, we got to the river, we turned and went north, looking for any target we could find. There was quite a bit of action along both sides of the river. We had a plane over each bank and two in the middle.
I saw a couple of smaller boats tied up at a wharf and a few 50 calibers sent them to the bottom. I also saw a little action at the back end of that warehouse and thought it was worth looking into. So, I made a big sweeping curve to the right to give the other planes a chance to go by, I came back at the rear of the building and it a long lean–to, underneath was a number of trucks loading or unloading. I touched off a rocket and a truck exploded. It started others to blow and we had a big fire going. I went on by and made a big turn and came back. This time, there was another big fire. I didn’t know if my explosion had caused another fire or if Lt. Barnes came in behind me and touched off a rocket. We had some good fires going in this warehouse area. The two pilots on the other bank was having a lot of luck also. We worked that whole area over pretty good and it won’t be worth much for a while.
We went onto the north on the Rhine River, looking for boats or barges or any type of targets. We spotted a couple of barges in the river and sent them to the bottom in a hurry. Then we saw a couple of crafts tied up at the docks and we damaged them also. Then I saw a gasoline trailer tank hooked up to something inside because I could see the hose filling the truck on the top. I made a circle and came in from the same direction and put a rocket in the center of the tanker truck. Oh my goodness! What an explosion! The flames were 100 feet high and the black smoke went even higher. Then there must have been another big truck inside as it caught fire and exploded. The last explosion almost caught Lt. Barnes a fire, he flew over the building just as it blew up. I think that explosion blew him away from the flames. Anyhow, he is alright and a very lucky man and he knows it. What a day!
See ya!
Funny Age One Liners
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Transitional age is when during a hot day you don’t know what you want – ice cream or beer.
Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
I grew a beard thinking it would say, “Distinguished Gentleman.” Instead, turns out is says, “Senior Discount.”
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
Funny Marriage One Liners
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat.
Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crime 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
My ex wrote to me: “Can you delete my number?” I responded: “Who is this?”
Child’s experience: If a mother is laughing at the father’s jokes, it means they have guests.
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
Funny Sport One Liners
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Claus wrote him back, “Okay, send me your mother.”
I park in the farthest spot possible at the gym for the added benefit of eating my croissan’wich without being judged by people walking by.
Boy: “Have you ever been fishing?” Girl: “Why?” Boy: “I think we should hook up!”
I am known at the gym as the “before picture.”
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.
