Dear Miss C,
First, do you get a lot of questions? Because I would think everyone would be too embarrassed to ask for help because these are small towns around here.
And now, my real question. I am an adult and am dating for the first time in about 20 years. Yep, that’s me… divorced. I am lost, I have never dated as an adult and could use some advice! Please help!
—Suzy Q
Dear Suzy Q,
Suzy, I get a steady flow of questions through my email and Facebook page. I think in general, it is hard to ask for advice, but forums such as this help by making it safe and confidential. No one knows who you are, heck most people don’t know who I am! But I do love hearing from readers.
Now for your real question! Dating is hard no matter your age, but I imagine there is more anxiety when you have not dated for some time, or as an adult. Congratulations on your courage and determination to move forward in your life. But let me tell you, dating has probably changed a lot in the past 20 years.
Let me tell you, I teach college and each semester I ask my students how many have gotten flowers on a first date; how many dates come to the door to pick you up; who pays on the first date…questions like this. Typically, very few have gotten flowers or picked up at the door. My Grams always told me that if the gentleman doesn’t bring flowers on the first date (when he picks you up at your door, on time) there should not be a second date. She would probably just flip if I told her that most of my students communicate about their dates in a quick text message. Oh how times have changed.
So with that in mind, let me share some tips and things to remember about dating:
1. Your past is your present. So you should prepare to be Googled. It is typical to Google search your dates before your first and second outings!
2. People are so busy and so they have more chances to find meet new people. They use social networking, internet dating, and dating apps. So if you like someone, let them know before they grow impatient and keep searching.
3. And speaking of meeting new people, you should be aware of and explore local and virtual dating opportunities as well.
4. People date for many different reasons and marriage is no longer always the goal, so be sure to communicate your hopes and expectations.
5. And finally, be your own charming self…and have fun! Dating does not have to be full of pressure…use it as an excuse to get out and meet new people and try new things!
Good Luck!
Blessings,
—Miss C
