Penny For Your Thoughts
By: Nancy Whitaker
When I was little, I thought my Mama was old at age 30. I thought my grandparents were ancient at age 50. Now my views have changed on what is “old.” Today, I think anyone close to 95 may be old. None of us want to face our final years and you know our so called “Golden Years” are not really cracked up to be what they ought to be. Our bodies, just plain and simple, “wear out.”
My grandpa always did tell me, however, that the two things in life we must do was to “Die and pay taxes.” Is that all we have to look forward to?
Doctors and scientists are always telling us ways to live longer. They tell us not to drink, smoke, eat anything good, go to bed early and yes make sure you exercise. I agree, these are things to do to live a healthier lifestyle and perhaps add a few years to your life. Now, what fun is that? Could there be easier ways to avoid death?
Research into centuries of old folk sayings, wisdom and cures, have been compiled into some easy rules to avoid death. These beliefs come from all over the country and some people still follow them. None of them were made up. Just remember: if you fail to observe these rules, no one will be responsible for the consequences.(if you believe any of the following let me know if you tried any)
First of all: don’t take the ashes out of a fireplace or a wood stove between Christmas and New Years; never place a broom on a bed; keep cats off piano keys and don’t ever, ever rock an empty rocking chair. (I wonder if you can put a doll in it and rock?)
Some other old antidotes which are said to prevent you from dying are: to avoid carrying axes, shovels, and other sharp-edged tools through a house; if you must take one inside, always take it out by the same door and make sure you never hang your sweetheart’s picture upside-down.
Also on the list: never hold a stick in your mouth while sewing; always sew cross-stitching on your underwear; don’t walk around in one shoe and if a woman makes her own wedding dress, she won’t live to wear it. (I can’t sew anyways)
Now, did you know that sleeping with your head at the foot of the bed is said to surely be fatal? Also singing in bed can prove to be deadly. They say if you hear a howling dog at night to reach under your bed and turn over a shoe. (who keeps their shoes under the bed?)
I cannot believe these sayings about hygiene. Never rub soap on your skin on Friday. (I wonder if it is safe to rub anything else on your skin on Fridays?) Never cut a baby’s hair or fingernails until they are a year old and whatever you do, don’t ever use a razor a dead man has used. (I wonder if this rule is for a man or a woman?)
Now, you must never hold a funeral on a Friday. Always remove a dead body from the house feet first. Try not to imagine it’s Saturday when it’s not. Try not to kill a crow; but if you do, be sure to bury it while wearing black. When your name is called, don’t answer the first time-it may be the Devil calling you. Never kill a locust. Never kill a lizard. If you hear a hen crow, you must kill the hen. If you are on a train when a woman boards, dressed in black, get off and whatever you do, don’t let a lizard count your teeth. (When did hens start crowing and lizards learn to count?)
Some of these old sayings are still used. Some of them I have heard my grandparents say and others I never knew about. Have you ever used any of these old sayings? At what age do you think a person gets old and should start doing these things? You will never know until you try them, but if you do, let me know and I’ll give you a Penny for Your Thoughts.
